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Please join me in welcoming the final installment in the series on habits from Lindsey Bass. Check out her previous articles New Year, New Habits!and Attractiveness Has Nothing To Do With Looks Here Thank you, Lindsey for helping our readers start the new year with a focus on helpful, and healthful habits!

Dr. Andy Brown

The curiosity of a particularly decisive moment bolstered my inspiration, washed away my writer’s block, and renewed my flow into positive habit formations back. A hurricane warning catapulted me into the ‘just do it’ mentality that is meant to be an encouragement yet feels like a euphemism for ‘get over it.’ When I hear something along the lines of ‘get over it and just do it,’ I dive headfirst into the Notebook scene with Ryan Gosling to remind any and everyone, just like Rachel McAdams does, that ‘it’s not that simple!’ Any human who has ever written has likely experienced some form of writer’s block, and attempting to break it is certainly not something you ‘just do.’ We think it’s because there is something wrong with us or we are lacking inspiration, yet, what is really happening is a bad habit set with the wrong system for change…the system is wrong, not us. When looking to improve, looking for that way to make it 1% better, the preparations cannot become procrastination (Clear, 2018). Instead, deploy the final two laws of Atomic Habits: make it both easy and satisfying.

The clouds rolling in. A hurricane report is igniting old behaviors from the east coast version of me, and I begin intense preparations. Pausing momentarily, I feel the cool humidity tantalizing my nostrils and hydrating my soul. My inhales deepening – enjoying the energy scooting in at the backs of my heels. The excuses from the unchanged ‘sunny and 75’ days have been fueling plenty of habits (good and bad), but this hurricane energy is meeting a need of mine similar to the needs of the drought ridden ground of southern California.

The rain begins to trickle, and the ground initially holds its barrier. It too struggles with the fast change of the environment. The rain persists, the ground softens slightly, and finally begins to absorb the extremely needed water. I watch feeling mesmerized for a few moments. Instead of my usual desire to “snap out of it,” I fashion a critical decision that ultimately will lead to a string of better choices – the beginning of better habit formation. Like the water trickling down the cracked ravines of the dry ground, my veins begin to fill with a desire to write again.

If something in our lives is putting up a fight, like the dry ground before finally accepting the water, we find a way to reduce the friction and prime the environment. The ground is primed by the initial sprinkles of the rain, which make the overall rain absorption easier. Our brains have pathways they like to follow, similar to the dry cracked ground (Choy, 2017). The first time going off path feels uneasy, the ground doesn’t hold its shape. Over time, an esplanade forms and is followed instinctively with the love and care shown by the patted down earth. In our lives, walking that path reduces the friction between where one is currently and the good habits that will support a pleasurable life.

Consistency makes way for solidified pathways to form in life and in our brains. On the east coast, I learned never to underestimate the potential strength of a hurricane warning. Fool me once, shame on you [hurricane]; fool me twice, shame on me. This old proverb gives way to another means of sticking with your good habits and making them satisfying. The idea that you miss a habit once means that you are a human (*check box – I am not a robot*). We all forget or skip something once in a while. Committing to never missing it twice means that the habit will naturally begin to form a stronger connection and satisfy the old proverb.

Reflecting on my experience with the hurricane, I now know to prime my environment in an outdoor space, under the awning of my covered patio, notepad and pen on the side table, with Spotify set to the sounds of rain fall, and I write. For two minutes, with a timer set and all, I write whatever comes to mind. Once the two minutes is up, I go inside to begin boiling water for the slow pour-over that comforts my soul. The coffee is my reward and makes it satisfying to complete my two minutes of writing each day. Sure, two minutes of writing won’t put out a thousand words, but what it does give you is the bold energy to write something and that is powerful. Rightsizing a habit until it can be done in two minutes or less (Clear, 2018) makes it manageable and brings the reward quickly. Often, the clouds that brew and build in our minds surrounding the procrastination seem far darker and more ominous than the task on the other side. Having the tools already available reduces the friction to start writing and makes that beautifully decisive moment impactful and fills me with pride.

Unlike Nike suggests, few activities deserve the disparagement of adding ‘just’ in front of the ‘do it.’ For many of us it might take the internal force of the hurricane to get us moving, and that is okay! In fact, that is one of the reasons starting new habits can feel daunting because society tells us to ‘just do it’ without any actionable steps to actually ‘do it.’ The goal here is to make it easy on ourselves and make it satisfying to do. The new positive habit will be obvious, attractive, easy, and satisfying – which is exactly what is needed to make it stick (Clear, 2018). It isn’t ‘just’ done. It is worked through and made to meet unique needs that are satisfying in an authentic way for one individual to follow. Now, don’t ‘just’ do it, do it intentionally.

References

Choy, Lawarence, S. (2017). Neuroplasticity and mental wellness: Our path forward. Global Wellness Institute, 18-29.

Clear, J. (2018). Atomic habits: An easy and proven way to build good habits and break bad ones. Penguin Publishing Group.

Lindsey Bass is a new professional in the counseling field who is conditionally licensed in Maine and is a National Certified Counselor and a Certified Animal Assisted Therapy Professional. She currently works doing equine assisted psychotherapy as well as providing tele mental health services. Populations of particular interest to Lindsey include military children and families, new mothers, and those who have endured traumatic birth experiences. Lindsey is embedded in the submarine military community herself and is also a mother to a three-year-old and fur parent to two Shiba Inus.

Lindsey Bass, Guest blogger